Oh my god leave the poor fuckers alone.

Because I loved them haha

But in general it’s less about that particular relationship and trying to convince myself that going forward the results of a relationship aren’t just going to be the same disregard as I’ve experienced in the past.

You are absolutely correct, I suppose it’s gotten a bit weird because the relationship was super odd regarding the intentions communicated vs the actual work put in. It was made things very muddy and it’s hard to understand my part in what went wrong, and reflect on if and what I need to change regarding my own behaviour. I don’t think I’ve experienced a situation where everything got this messy before.

I’ll try to be objective, everything here is either the objective truth or something both of us came to a consensus on.

It was a large and complex issue, last straw was I attempted to communicate that we would need to talk out our issues before we started co-living again, she took it as she wouldn’t be allowed to come back to the house without that talk right now. I ran that message past a few people before I sent it because we’ve had some nasty communication issues in the past, they did not think it was a reasonable reading of said message. It certainly not my intention.

We’ve also had a lot of issues on and off. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t mind that and is happy to work on this stuff, she’s got some anxiety issues and tends to avoid grappling with things. It was going okay for the first couple of years, and I was a much more forgiving, go with the flow kind of person back then. I started to feel like my priorities and needs weren’t important to her, chiefly because when I tried to communicate them to her she would sort of treat it as unimportant as a first reaction, then if I pressed the issue she would concede the importance, but then never make actual progress.

The most recent batch of issues came last year when there was a construction crew basically rebuilding the entirety of next door. They did a significant amount of damage to our property, and the noise was extremely loud from 7-2:30. She got home at 3ish. I needed some time to relax after the figurative siege of noise, she has dyspraxia and won’t turn off the anxiety and will use the anxious energy for housework. I also have moderate to severe PTSD regarding noises like that from childhood. It wasn’t a good combination. She also wouldn’t even acknowledge the problem for the first maybe 5 months, and basically didn’t do any of the legal work regarding the issues.

I started to have a breakdown in maybe August last year, where I stopped being able to do housework so easily, her answer to that was to force herself to do the things I wasn’t capable of at the time. I still kick myself for allowing that to happen, because it built up more antipathy that she never communicated, and even at the time I knew things going this way was a possibility.

Even up to the end we cared for each other, but how we were interacting was bad for both of us. My main frustration isn’t that we had these issues, but that I didn’t think they were insurmountable at all. People and relationships need work, and we both agreed on that in general, but the work discussed never materialised.

For my part my faults in this were I was too forgiving at the start, and too frustrated at the end. I don’t blame myself for that, the issues next door basically made me regress into the abused child on some level, but it did definitely lead to a lack of communication skills, and patience. I did okay, but not great.

For sure, but I’ll take potential avenues of investigation over nothing right now. Appreciate you making sure I’m not going into this with the wrong mindset though

I completely understand your logic there, but I’m not sure it’s something I can become accustomed to. I feel like I’ve got a similar viewpoint with the idea of death at least, the inevitability of things passing, but my issue seems more the idea of my own inadequacy, the fear I may not deserve connection with other people.

Well that makes me feel less bad about the situation regarding my own career issues currently. If a dude like this can have trouble, anyone can.

2016 was a weird year for me. I had a strong fling that ended abruptly, and I was heartbroken for a while. It was an alright year, I was working in a steady tech job and living in a share house.

2026 I’m living in my own house with 2 cats, my partner of 7 years just broke it off with me for reasons I had very little control over. I’m utterly heartbroken and going through a similar issues I did back in 2016, though more justified. I might recover soon but it’s been a really bad few years, and I’ve not been able to make much of myself lately.

Man, I’ve really got to watch out for 2036, it might be a doozy.

Technically he got fired because he didn’t contribute to quake that much, mostly he got addicted to deathmatch. Which, you know, fair

This is a funny question in the context of the sub, because it’s not that the question is stupid, but the answer is.

They’re incredibly stupid. They may not know of Spain, or any Spanish speaking culture. They’re also incredibly reactionary, and egocentric, which means they may not have rubbed the two brain cells together to realise there are other possibilities than what has been parrotted to them for the past few decades.

Actually if I were you I’d be very careful with being in America right now. Like in general, but also the rascist rhetoric is getting pretty strong over there.

I’m recently back on dating apps. There’s just so much of this.

It’s kind of muddy and depends on your personal beliefs on how much you think interacting through a terrible person through uncritical devouring of their works is likely to taint your own worldview. Various factors include how many people were involved, did they have the views at the time, are you capable of reading the text in a manner where you seperate yourself a bit from it, etc.

I don’t think it’s worth the risk personally, but I tend to view art as a communication from one person to another, rather than a commodity or a consumable. I don’t particularly go out of my way to communicate with terfs who are immune to critical thinking. Also if we get down to brass tacks, it’s not that good of a series.

I did something about it. I’m not having grandkids!

The ones where the front doesn’t fall off?

Lmao “Hey guys we had this happen multiple times already in the past few decades and we never learned from our mistakes there.”

Buy why were these ships decommissioned in the first place?

Aha no they actually stopped that about a decade ago iirc? It was a fairly noticeable shift, I was working in a small development environment at the time.

I really hate to naysay you on this, but the US starting pointless wars over random shit is not a new thing with Trump. It got marginally worse sure, and I’d agree there some stability problems that got worse in the past year, but the US is mostly an economic powerhouse largely driven by the military industrial complex, which did indeed get kick-started by their late entry into WW2.  There’s a reason the US economy goes into overdrive every time they start a war. This is a self perpetuating problem that has been going on for nearly as long as living memory unfortunately.