I just don’t want to pressure someone into doing something if they don’t want to though…
You aren’t. They’re adults and will decline if they want.
I got a lot more confidence in myself as soon as I realized that my lack of confidence implied that everyone else were children in need of my protection, from me. Treat your adult friends like adults. They’ll be ok.
My wife complains about this to me. But in my defense, I only ask if I don’t really want to go myself. “Let’s go to the court house together” vs “you can come if you want”. I don’t want to subject her to the same shit I’d rather not be doing.
I’ve found myself in similar situations with past partners. I’ve found that “I need to go to x place. I’d love to have your company if you’re not busy” is a good way to let them know that I want them there with me, but there’s no obligation if they don’t want to come.
Thanks! I’ll start using this, I’m surprised it’s such a common thing, I tought I was just socially inept or something
Both are fine depending on the context.
Stop giving me a choice!
