I liked Starfield (I even 100%ed the achievements on Steam). I also loved No Man’s Sky long before the shift in pubic sentiment towards it, so maybe I’m just weird. But if you’re reading this and thinking “this guy wouldn’t know a good game if it shat a voxel-based turd onto his chest”, you’re WRONG. I also loved MindsEye. So there.

I only care about other people dying. Not afraid of my own death at all, except in how I know it will affect others. If I knew no one would care or remember that I existed, I’d skip to my death like I’m off to see the Wizard.

Being not alive is not even another state of being. There is nothing to do the “being” on either side of alivetude. It’s not like, once dead, you’re now in Phase 3 of beingosity (the first two phases being pre-alive and alive). Your energy and nutrients will serve other purposes, but we’re talking about consciousness here, and that is as fragile and malleable as a flaccid penis, and as temporary and fleeting as a decent erection.

A way I like to conceptualise it is with this thought experiment:

Everyone on Earth has the power of telepathy, except you. You try to explain what not being able to read or transmit thoughts is like, and the other people who do have telepathy are struggling to grasp it. “Is it like a dial tone? Or is it maybe the ambient silence when you’re in a room with nothing making noise, like the sound of your own bodily vibrations?” and you have to be like “no, it’s none of those things, because those things are all still imagining the presence of a sensory platform that just doesn’t exist in me. It’s not a faulty telepathy, it’s complete absence of it that doesn’t hint at its own absence, there is no telepathy hole in my brain that I can finger, it’s all solid and complete as far as my sense of self is concerned”.

Death is nothing to be afraid of. Your fears and anxieties around it are all supposing the ability to retain hindsight once the process is completed, like you’ll watch the party continue without you and that you’ll miss out on things that would make you happy. You’re simply projecting yourself forward in time, perhaps imagining yourself in some weird paralysed state, uninvolved in life, but still there. You’ll have no framework within which to experience experience. So fuckin’ relax and enjoy yourself and try to make everyone else’s ride as nice as you can. That’s literally all there is to it.

Oh, and MILF porn.

I don’t think it’s necessary, even from a story perspective (the game does a great job of filling in the blanks for you). It’s definitely worth playing Portal 1 though, it’s a fantastic game with perfect design even nearly 20 years later. I mean apart from engine and graphics tech, I don’t think the game could be improved upon much. Same is true for Portal 2.

Another thing about Portal 1’s story is that it’s barely there at all. Almost all of it is incidental to the puzzles, and the story that is there is either passive exposition from the antagonist, or some very minimal environmental stuff. With that in mind, you could easily get yourself up to speed on the story going into Portal 2 just by glancing at a one or two paragraph summary, maybe with a couple of screenshots (you could probably convey everything in the story in one sentence if you’re creative with the punctuation). Portal 2’s story is much more fleshed out and interesting, though.

Portal 1 is so old and undemanding that you could probably run it smoothly inside a VM even on a meagre PC. I don’t know what OS you’re running, but I presume it’s not Windows?

The Vatican could probably wipe out just about any government on Earth if it wanted to. They’ve got billions of sleeper agents all over the world who’d do whatever it tells them, many of them in the very governments they want to destroy. “The US has threatened to destroy Catholicism. You know what you need to do!” and suddenly everyone from mafiosos to Irish grannies to couch fuckers would be booking flights to Mar-a-Lago.

The first rule of the internet I ever encountered back in the mid-90s was “don’t feed the trolls”. We’ve lost that piece of philosophy along the way, and now we all actively engage with cunts instead of just blocking them and moving on. Oblivion is the ultimate tool for dealing with anonymous people who behave like fuckheads. It’s a win for them if you respond to their provocations, so just don’t. Don’t be posting shit like “I know you’re trolling, but…” just don’t even acknowledge them. Block/report/move on. It’s really that simple. The simplest remedy is also the most effective. How cool is that? We just have to tell our limbic systems, because the urge to engage is overwhelming sometimes. But take pleasure in sending these bastards into the abyss, enjoy hitting that block button and growing your blocklist. Look at your blocklist from time to time, and bask in the glory of it. Delight in how many people have been stopped dead in their tracks from ever bothering you again. Get excited when you see a new cunt emerge, and how much fun it will be to add them to the list.

As for ‘reply guys’ and general pissiness from curmudgeons (that is, people who are dickish but not actually harassing you) you can simply think of whatever anger or displeasure they’re expressing as being very much their problem. If they talk to you like you’re stupid, just know that they’re struggling with their own issues and that’s why they’re behaving like a stone in everyone’s shoe. Talk to them normally and without emotional language (if you need to talk to them at all), and keep in mind that anyone else who happens upon this interaction will see that you’re a reasonable and cool person and the other guy is a wanker.

If you knew the other person had a brain tumour that made them behave like a prick, you’d be much less bothered by them, but the thing is, that “brain tumour” exists in everyone. No one is really the master of their own behaviour, we’re all dragging millennia of other people’s genetic shittiness behind us, and our individual capacity to introspect and reflect on our shittiness and try to do better is also something we don’t create within ourselves, we’re all pretty much stuck with what we have, with our wiggle room for improvement being as preordained as our circulatory systems. So think of everyone as a tumour-riddled victim of circumstance and they won’t be able to hurt or annoy you anywhere near as much. Be happy that your particular tumours aren’t making you behave like a dickhead in public. It’s all about framing, just don’t let the other guy do the framing and you’re good.

A lunatic confused by the moon. There’s a certain poetry to that.

Maybe that infamous copper salesman had selflessly excised all of his radioactive copper from his stocks so as not to rip off or harm the customer. Maybe he deserves an apology. Inferior copper that isn’t full of syphilis or whatever is better than great copper that melts your face off.

Ben Shapiro, man of the people, self-made millionaire, no help or handouts, no complaints, just pure husslin’ and bustlin’, hardest worker in America, Ben Shapiro knows the value of a dollar, he knows what it’s like to struggle, but he made it through, for he is Ben “Privilegeless” Shapiro.

If JD were to put a bullet in Trump’s head, he’d be pardoned by the next president for saving the planet.

Is there some way I can contact, perhaps via an open letter in some x-chan dungeon, the mass shooters of tomorrow and convince them to be a little more discriminating in their target selection when they decide to go out in a hail of bullets?

It has always struck me as being the same impulse that makes hoarders do what they do. It’s just that, because the rich are hoarding wealth, which everyone sees as a desirable thing to hoard, they’re not treated like the fiending addict freaks that they are. I think it’s simply their warped personalities, rather than some Machiavellian master plan.

That’s a great idea, DDoS their brains to the point where they zone out 😆

At my age, if I had the choice between eating my own M&Ms or doing the sexes with women while also doing maintenance and upkeep for a sex dungeon and having to make eye contact with women in order to lure them back to it… I’d just have the M&Ms (the peanut ones, naturally).

If you’ve ever met my dog, you’ll know why I cannot disagree with this theory 😆

I would die for that kittlet.

It’s legit misogyny masquerading as a male empowerment philosophy. Without thinking women are shallow robots, there’s no looksmaxxing movement. Incels who are offended by the label in the current climate (which is understandable, what with the mass shootings and all that) are trying to dress up their “women are to blame for my insecurity” worldview as some sort of intellectually-distinct way of being that isn’t just inceldom. It’s essentially a GQ magazine cover image pasted over the front of a 4chan manifesto. The kind of wankers who smoke cigars and wear sunglasses indoors because they have a 13-year-old boy’s conception of what a successful man looks like. They’re torn between hating women, and spending their entire lives being focused on impressing them. They’ll literally hammer their faces and stretch their jaws to become what their primary enemy (women) demands of them. It’s like if a Hamas member started going to temple and grew some payot/sidelocks.

Probably produces better results than snorting a line of crushed-up Ivermectin, or whatever it is RFK is suggesting these days.

• Nova Drift
• The Long Dark

Now my most-played games on Steam!

At least they have an AI-free option, as annoying as it is to have to opt into it.

On a related note, it’s hilarious to me that the Ecosia search engine has AI built in. Like, I don’t think planting any number of trees is going to offset the damage AI has done and will do to the planet.

We’re getting to the stage where normal everyday traits are being attributed to neurological dingleberries. It’s like when people say “only those with Asian mothers know about keeping lots of plastic bags in a larger plastic bag in the cupboard under the sink” even though this is something everyone does.