You know what’s funny? I’m an excellent singer. Years of formal training, sang professionally for years. But take me to a karaoke bar and I will be the suckiest sucky fuck there. Why? Because on a professional stage it’s a different vibe. Very focused, very intense, and if you try to do that in a karaoke bar you look like a fucking tool, so instead I try to be casual, not use my “pro” technique, and I end up sounding like shit.
Something deliberately unserious.
Even if OP is trying to piss off someone or make a statement of some sort, done is a way that’s some combination of hyperbole, satire, and polemic. But the point is that it’s unserious.
Because we get to throw his ass in jail.
After careful consideration I have come to the following conclusion on this issue:
🤷🏻
This is such a heartwarming scene!
You’ve given this a suspiciously impressive amount of thought.
This reminds me when I was a grad student at CU Boulder, one of the frat houses decided to get rid of an old couch by dragging it out into the street and setting on fire. Became a running joke in town for years afterward.
Delete book, gym up the lawyer, hit face.
Vulcans
Those heartless green-blooded bastards…
I should like to point out, however, that your 50’s are for having fun.
Source: In 50’s, having fun.
Five minutes is a long time when something hurts like a mf.
“Eh, been better.”
I feel like that response is real without oversharing, and invites someone to respond however they want. If they care, they can ask what’s up, or they can just say, “aw bummer man, hope it gets better for you,” or whatever.
OMG yes!!! I’ve already dropped them off at the fire station. When can you come over??? 🥰
Ah, I see you’re back for your periodic dose of Your-Mom-Is-Full-Of-Shit.
Reminds me of my own mom. When I was younger and started writing my own stuff, she’d similarly complain that what I wrote was too negative. So I demanded she supply me with a topic she’d approve of, and she came back with - and I’m seriously not making this up - “Making children happy at Christmas!”
Yeah, I never wrote that song.
You do you bro. Write whatever dark shit is in you to write. I don’t have to tell you why it’s a good thing - you already innately know why. Don’t show it to your mom because she doesn’t get it and stop pretending she will.
I’m the kind of acidic fuck who’d say something like, “Mom, you know why I’m so negative? Because it was your job to raise me as a positive kid and you failed. And it’s a failure you’ll never be able to atone for.”
They’re right behind you.
Add apple chunks for additional hilarity.