And does the SF ever go away?
you can never make art again
I have a friend who was in that situation. After a while he just started jerking it again. Not watching so much porn and not jerking it every day is probably good for you, but going no fap is just gonna give you wet dreams to clean up and won’t actually solve any problems.
The whole “rarely find a mate” thing is first of all a really weird phrasing and secondly is a solvable problem. That manosphere crap is a learned helplessness grift. Lower your standards a bit, get some hobbies, go socialize. As long as you respect people, you’ll find plenty of people willing to give you a chance.
I did it for a little over a month once just to see what it was like. There weren’t really any effects beyond just being horny all the time. It was basically like being a teenager in high school again. Other than that nothing changed. I didn’t experience any of the benefits you see people talking about. I probably had more trouble focusing on work but that’s hard to tell because that’s always been a problem.
Personally I find being horny incredibly distracting. It’s so hard to focus on anything and makes interacting with people you could theoretically “mate” with much more difficult because my mind is constantly preoccupied with “would. I wonder if they’d be interested.” Really annoying.
Yeah I’m the same way. I have a much easier time interacting with women if I keep the edge off.
the “benefits” are mostly people with addictions losing their executive disfunctions. re-realizing you can just…do things you want to do is powerful experience
It’s a little odd calling them a “mate” in this context. There’s nothing wrong with masterbation. If you think porn is had and don’t wanna watch it, that’s fine, but genuinely there is absolutely nothing wrong with masterbation. I think a lot of people talk folks’ negative feelings about porn and twist them into negative feelings about self pleasure and try to get people to believe that living some “pure” life where you don’t touch yourself is inherently better than the alternative or something. It’s really not.
Sex is a big part of life. There’s no reason you can’t do it alone. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it alone. Go enjoy yourself. Have some me time. It’s not something to feel guilty about.
Tell that to the religious that are being taught every day that they’ll go to hell for touching their peepee because God always watches them, always judges them
desperate/suffering people are easier to control, i assume that is the main reason for this kind of stuff in religion especially since it has no basis in the original message.
I’d be happy to. I believe they’re being lied to. I was brought up in that same puritanical culture. Leaving the church and religion were the most freeing things of my life.
But even apart from that, if you believe that lust is a sin and/or that pornography is morally wrong, you can still masterbate without that being a part of it. That’s sort of what I was trying to get at without being so direct, as I don’t know if OP is religious or what their beliefs are. Too many people think that looking at porn and masturbating are the same thing. You can look at porn without touching yourself. You can touch yourself without looking at porn. You can even touch yourself without imagining yourself having sex with someone. I have male body parts, and generally “fap” implies male parts, so I sort of assume OP has the same parts as me. It is a very common experience, especially when younger, that any sort of physical stimulation down there results in an erection. If you get an erection because you crossed your legs in tight pants, did you lust? No. Of course not. If you get an erection because you intentionally touch yourself in a way you find pleasurable, have you lusted? I say no, and I feel pretty strongly about that. How is it different than running your shoulders to give yourself some relief if your tense? It’s another physical stimulation that feels good.
You ll just be alot more horny and you will have more sexual daydreams. The rest normalizes, but keep in mind sex is healthy for the body in general.
Maybe when you turn 50.
Balls = Blue
I’m amused by all the people here who don’t realize I’m a woman. I even made a new account in a new instance with a new username that is undeniably female. I thought surely people would finally stop calling me “dude” and “bro” and talking about my non-existent balls 🤣
I don’t think we have a term specifically for women that would equate to “blue balls…” 🤔 We should, tho.
Using the term “NoFap” in the title is a bit like putting “AI” in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.
I don’t even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don’t want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don’t even hold.
I know it’s not what you asked, OP, but NoFap is a purity cult. Cross reference the mods from r/nofap and you’ll find heavy correlation with religious sub’s.
Despite claims for helping porn/sex addicts, their intent is to get their foot in the door.
If you want to live a life of NoFap for reasons you decide for yourself, fine, but don’t so it to gain any of the benefits those twats claim.
Worst case scenario is you get prostate cancer.
My apologizing for not understanding that it’s a cult. All I know is what it means to me is “making a personal decision to refrain from masturbation because I feel energetically stronger when I save that energy for [whatever/whoever].”
If you’re making a decision for yourself, because you feel better for not doing something, where the alternative is to do it out of habit or some form of compulsion that makes you feel bad or like it’s a waste of energy, then you definitely don’t need strangers on the internet telling you anything about it (doubly so if it doesn’t hurt anyone.)
You do you, if you feel energetically stronger, that’s almost certainly due to your personality.
Research has been done to discern whether athletes should refrain from sex before sports. The results showed that there was no meaningful performance difference in clarity, concentration, or energy levels.
And by the sounds of the olympics, good luck getting the athletes from around the world that you put in one place to stop finding other athletes attractive XD
Personally, I think “NoFap” is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.
As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!
To say that “it sucks” is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some “incel” guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That’s not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.
I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it’s not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.
Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.
But here’s the key point: I really don’t think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.
Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one’s urges…
But choosing to live a “life of NoFap” isn’t going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you’re down–punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care.
Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?
The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying “sex life”. And likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship shouldn’t feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.
If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don’t just look for “girlfriends”, make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that’s really all it takes.
I’m a woman to start.
There’s two modes I’ve found myself in when not masturbating - I’m either purposefully staying aroused and denying an orgasm to heighten sexual tension and pleasure OR I’m not masturbating because life is busy for whatever reason and my libido diminishes over time.
So it depends. And I think everyone is a little different as well, so you might want to play with not masturbating to reduce sexual frustration to see if it works for you.
I am guessing the “nofap” idea comes from religion. Amazing how a god is so obsessed with sex. Makes one wonder if it is just men trying to control a natural drive in order to control others.
While the reason for someone to follow “nofap” varies from person to person. It does not come from religion. It is mainly a movement to help fight porn addiction.
Porn addiction is controversial. It probably came from religion to.
You’re asking a bunch of chronically online lemmy nerds what they think of masturbation. So if you’re looking for an impartial response then you’ve come to the wrong place.
🤣 You’re not wrong.
I don’t understand the idea of not fapping.
One of the side effects is compulsive posting on 4chan /pol
