You should watch Infinity Train and buy an epilator. That’s what I did when I was a baby trans. Epilators have a bit that goes “brrrr” and pulls out your leg hairs. They’re great, but expect pain. Infinity Train stars a teenage girl who’s the perfect amount of autistic and emotionally repressed to be a massive trans mood. You’re gonna love her.

Obviously you need to chase your own joy and my list might not be relevant for you, it’s just what I do. I was so deep in the closet I never tried any of this shit before though so maybe if you’ve been doing these things already they won’t hit as hard.

My pre-hrt euphoria farming guide would be:

Shave: the first time i saw myself without body hair I broke down crying because for the first time in my adult life, I didn’t vicerally hate myself and my body. The feeling of self hatred that was always always present in my life, that I thought was about weight, about lack of muscle tone etc, gone. I just couldn’t stand my body hair because it was so masculine. Hair removal cream gave me good results for my chest and back when I was finding that shaving the thicker hairs was painful or irritating, but for the love of all that is holy, don’t leave it on longer than the packet says! It’s annoying as fuck to have do hair removal regularly but you’re going to have to get used to some more routine maintenance in your future so might as well start now.

Skirts. They go spinney. Long maxi skirts work on literally any figure. If you have a place that is safe for you to experiment, buy some fuckin skirts and spin around in them. Didn’t think I needed them, thought I’d be fine in jeans, tried one once, now jeans are the tyrannical enemy of joy. Skirt squad 4 lyfe. See also, tights/fishnets/stockings/leggings etc.

Makeup. Put on makeup, you’ll look cute as fuck. I’m still shit at putting it on but eye shadow and lipstick and mascara are fucking glorious. Foundation is still a cosmic mystery to me. I might be too old for it. Who cares.

Nails. Get some colours you like, and get some clear base and top coat plus nail polish remover and cotton makeup remover pads (the good, thick kind that doesn’t disintegrate on contact). I literally stare at my hands for significant time these days, it’s like huffing gender euphoria (maybe that’s the fumes from the nail polish remover, who can say?).

Accessorise: jewellery, bracelets, chains, hats, whatever. But a load of cheap things and see what you like, you can always get the good quality shit later, this is about having fun and experimenting with low stakes.

Let yourself try things as much as you can, you probably don’t know yet what you really want because you’ve not let yourself have it. Im here to say, take it, it’s all yours. Discard what you don’t want, and follow the feeling of happiness. Make yourself safe first (alone, in private, or with trusted people), then embrace the cringe for a bit. You can worry about being cool again later. Be a teenager for a while.

I haven’t found many TV shows or movies that brought me trans joy, but I have enjoyed a lot of webcomics and such. One movie I really connected with was K Pop Demon Hunters.

If you are the type to read webcomics, a couple that I really enjoyed are “Rain” and “I Want to be a Cute Anime Girl”

first of all, relax and take a breath.

what do I do about an incredible amount and thickness of body hair?

start by shaving :-)

I know that the very dark coloration of it makes laser an option

if you have dark hair and light skin, laser is great for most of your body, and much cheaper than electrolysis (but still very expensive, and still painful)

I’ve heard electrolysis is underrated

electrolysis is the only form of permanent hair removal and is very much not underrated, it’s just very expensive and time consuming, and works best on small areas - electrolysis makes the most sense on the face (usually after a year or more of laser treatments), and on the genital region in preparation for surgery.

What can be easy, early, discreet steps I can take for some euphoria?

1. start HRT first

I know this sounds like a much later step, but it’s actually one of the first things I would do: it is a useful diagnostic step, changes are very slow and it can take a while to even get an appt. to start, and it’s extremely low risk and potentially extremely helpful for mental health - you can even stop HRT anytime within the first 3 months without any permanent changes, and after that the only permanent change you risk is having breast bud growth that sticks around.

2. educate yourself

Read any trans related educational material you feel might be useful, but here’s a starting list:

• Gender Dysphoria Bible
• Whipping Girl by Julia Serano (and Sexed Up as well)
• Yes, You Are Trans Enough by Mia Violet
• “What Does the Scholarly Research Say about the Effect of Gender Transition on Transgender Well-Being?”
• An Introduction to Hormone Therapy for Transfeminine People

3. what you can do to help with dysphoria

Gender-affirming care is the number one way to alleviate dysphoria: hormone therapy, surgeries, hair removal, etc. should be prioritized and come first.

In the meantime, here are some concrete steps you can take that that have helped me:

• get your eyebrows waxed initially by a professional, then use tweezers and pluck hairs every day to maintain - this can make a huge difference
• if you wear glasses, choose women’s glasses next time you get a new prescription
• learn makeup and do it even if you aren’t leaving the house, it can really help what you see in the mirror (I actually went to Sephora and paid for a class, this was really helpful - I was clueless, and they helped me color match and find products that actually work on me - expensive, but helpful)
• wash and style hair, take good care of it (learn how to take care of your hair - this was a whole thing for me, I have curly hair and learning the Curly Girl Method was life-changing)
• put on a cute outfit, again - even if you’re not going anywhere, it feels nice to wear affirming clothes, so do it for yourself (plenty of trans women will wear a bra & panties even at home, when sleeping, or other times others might not normally wear them); also, learn how to dress well for your body shape (most of us are strawberry or apple), how to accentuate and emphasize the right parts (breasts, hips, butt) and diminish or hide the undesirable parts (broad shoulders, belly, flat chest, etc.)
• get nails and toes done (gel lasts the longest in my experience), this has acted for me as a daily visual reminder of my femininity
• for vocal dysphoria: hold the line, spend some time warming up and practicing the voice and then try hard to not let it fall back the rest of the day
• maintain a daily skin routine: figure out your skin’s tendencies, and at least get a good cleanser and moisturizer (might start with a Cerave cleanser and Cerave in the tub for moisturizing face before bed), and at bare minimum cleanse and moisturize your face before bed, and change your pillowcase once a week to help avoid bacterial breakouts; bonus points for using a good ceramide lotion on arms and legs, etc. (esp. where you get dry: knees, elbows, hands, and feet); also, start wearing sunscreen every day, esp. on your face, find a good cosmetic sunscreen you like (usually the good ones are from South Korea or Japan, e.g. I really liked Canmake’s Mermaid Skin Gel, though they changed their formula)
• prioritize hygiene, shower once a day and brush your teeth (some people rot, you will feel better if you look and smell nice - pick products that make you feel feminine, I love my lavender scented deodorant, and you can get fun body washes with scents you like)
• go out, sometimes the way I felt best was when I forced myself to feminize fully to try to pass in social situations - I noticed on days when I left my house and actually moved through society as a woman were some of my happiest and least dysphoric days (even when very insecure), esp. when people referred to me as miss or ma’am. Early transition this can be harder when fewer people see you as a woman, but I still think it’s good advice then, too. At the very least it forces you to do makeup and hair, etc. which helps.
• when dysphoria mounts into a crisis of doubt or imposter syndrome that makes me start to want to detransition, I found it really helps to journal - sometimes it’s good just to recall memories that remind you of why you are trans, but in my worst moments I found it helpful to engage in cold analysis: looking at what it means to be cis vs trans, what evidence there would be if I were a cis man vs a trans woman, and then comparing those to my experiences. Usually after a few pages of this kind of “objective analysis”, I finally get the bigger picture and realize I really am trans.
• see a therapist to help talk through your feelings, medication can also help (though HRT is often enough for a lot of women)
• once on HRT, cycling your weight (i.e. slowly, over months, lose 1 - 2 lbs a week, and then intentionally slowly gain it back) can really help give you curves; if you’re skinny, eat - boobs are curves are fat; if overweight, gradually lose weight to lose the “dad bod” (fat distributed at the neck, shoulders, and belly), but occasionally give yourself a plateau where you put a little weight back on, esp. in the first 3 - 6 months of HRT.
• until you have significant hair removal, don’t skip on shaving - I often would get exhausted from all the shaving and skip out on the weekend and it always made my dysphoria worse, don’t underestimate the influence hair plays in your dysphoria like I did, shave!

Generally, dysphoria is not as bad for me when other things are going well, e.g. if I’m well hydrated, had a good night’s sleep, and I’m eating healthy my skin tends to look softer and more feminine and is more likely to look “nice” to me. My mental health is also usually better, I’m less likely to spiral from insecurities and poor self esteem, and so on.

So, follow the basic steps of being healthy as well:

• eat lots of diverse and healthy foods, including vegetables (avoid processed foods like frozen nuggets or pizza, prefer “whole” foods like baked sweet potatoes, beets, beans, rice, etc.); plenty of my mental health episodes are triggered by being dehydrated or hungry - keep on top of your needs!
• drink lots of water (drink a glass when you wake up, keep water near you all day and remember to actually drink water, drink lots of water with your meals - digestion dehydrates!!, and eat lots of water-rich foods like cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.)
• practice good sleep hygiene: go to bed & wake up at the same times, keep a strict-ish schedule and make sure you give yourself ample sleep opportunity - be luxurious with your sleep and prioritize it over all else (esp. important when you start HRT, you might need more sleep as you undergo neurological changes - it really is a puberty!!)
• get regular aerobic activity, e.g. go for a 20 - 30 minute run a few times a week; stay as active as you can - get in walks after meals, even just walking for 10 minutes can really help the body and mind
• avoid stress and engage in stress reduction activities: take hot baths, meditate, give yourself breaks from work and enough time to come down in the evenings before bed, etc.

It’s less about being perfect and more about doing what you can.

(I’ve run out of space, will finish in a follow-up comment.)

what do I do about an incredible amount and thickness of body hair?

I assume you’re talking about removing it? And by discreet you mean you’d rather deal with it by yourself for now?

First step would of course be shaving or waxing, the latter being more effective. Or hair removal cream for something in-between.

You can also buy IPL hair removal devices for use at home, although laser would be a more efficient option.

Or just get on HRT and it will slow down and (potentially) thin out a bit :3

Thank you for sharing! I just recently found out that I may have been living with dysphoria for the greater part of my life - 37 years living as a cisman this year T_T - without realizing it because of how hostile, transphobic, repressive and toxic my surroundings have been. What gave me next level euphoria was this video essay that I discovered last week. Here is the Invidious link if you prefer that. It made me feel, perhaps for the first time, acknowledged. I wasn’t wrong. The bigoted people were.

I’ll start by sharing my recent watch that made me feel life is worth it, a video essay on “I saw the TV glow”, by Media Processing