I am a janitor at McDonald’s. Sometimes I find a whole-ass burger behind the fryers and it had to be there for at least a week, with how often we clean behind them, and they are perfectly fucking preserved other than the fact that they are rock hard.

IDK what they put in the food, but real food rots. I’m extremely wary of eating food that even microbes won’t touch.

One of the things I do at my job is emptying the trash bins of the car park, people throw away all sorts of things, some of them are useful, some of them are disgusting, some of them are intriguing. Then there are the patterns and trends.

I’m talking about a pay car park, all interior inside a building. There’s this spot where each week there was a gin bottle in the trash with three or four cans of tonic, but no plastic cups. Each week for maybe ten years then one day it changed to a bottle or two of Ballantine’s for two or three years and just recently it changed again to a herbs liquor popular around here.

Other times, not often enough, there are rejected presents, like a pair of new shoes that some guy tossed in the trash. How do I know it was a rejected present? Because it included a birthday note that read something like:

I’ve never forgot your birthday, I hope you enjoy it my dear [Joe], even though you hurt me that much you might know why you did it.
Sincerly [Jane]

My friends tell me that I should write stories about the stuff I find but I’m really bad at that, it would be fun though.

My security clearance certificate has me listed as a Government Agent.

I work for a thankless and ungrateful store who successfully met its sales criteria and became the most successful store in the state. However, that doesn’t reflect in how the store is operated and associate morale is constantly shit on. I’m one of the more decent workers, however, my management works me to death and stupidly wonders why my performance fluctuates from time to time.

And this is all to make sure, stupid dumbfucks with wallets (yes I’m talking about moronic fucking customers, fuck all of you) shit is on the shelf so more dumbfuck moronic customers can ask even more dumbfuck questions that don’t relate to anything and shoving their phones in my face.

That I get paid what I do for the job I do. It brings no real benefit to society but it’s a living.

Ill tell ya when I get some.

Audrey.

Don’t tell her. I think she knows, but it’s a bit awkward right now.

I just fix problems.

Processing data broken? I’ll fix it.

VPN broken? I’m on it.

New server needs installed? Yeah I’ll do that. (I love hosting Minecraft on a server that costs more than my car)

Old server needs removed? Cool free stuff.

It’s always something different, and I get to explore new things and possibly get free stuff.

figuring out other people’s mistakes when trying to replicate their results, closely followed by figuring out my mistakes when trying to replicate my own old results

How bafflingly incompetent my supervisors are. I am entirely convinced useless retards are promoted to management positions on purpose because if they did actual work they’d just fuck everything up.

Figuring out which parts of the vendors’ documentation is lies vs. what isn’t

How much of the global telecommunications infrastructure is held together with cable ties.

The process of in many cases slowly but methodically figuring out the solution for a problem. I work in R&D for electronics. I have to do a lot of paperwork, but sometimes I get to dig deep into the technical stuff. Recently we had an issue with one of our products. Line stop, management meeting, everybody loosing their mind. Got me some long days, but man, putting everything else aside and just running experiments to find the issue was a blast.

The amount of R&D and the sheer amount of technology that has gone into drastically reducing truck exhaust pollution over the years is amazing.

You learn some interesting things sometimes when reviewing medical records